Airplanes and Vampires
by The Heavens' Answer
Summary: A Revamped! CRACKFIC section of New Moon. What really should have happened on the flight to Volterra... . “Honestly, I think it’s all gotten beyond ridiculous. I’m debating whether to just change you myself.”Suggestions of Alice/Bella.


**New Moon**

**Airplanes and Vampires**

* * *

**Disclaimer:** In case you've been living under a rock and have somehow, miraculously escaped the Twilight fans and the news of the Saga's existence – this does not, I repeat, does not belong to us (Lindsay and I, Dark S3cret). We don't want credit for anything! Characters, names, plot, all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Except for maybe Alice. I want Alice.

… We just own really twisted minds, is all. So don't sue. Please. =]

**Warning:** the following content contains bloody vampire violence, lesbian vampire sex, kinky businessmen, god-awful music by a daughter of religious zealots, lots of screaming, a scary ancient vampire posse, some coarse language, and generally mature subject matter. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

* * *

"I'm confused. How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away – things that don't happen?"

Her eyes tightened. Bella wondered if Alice guessed what she was thinking of.

"It's clear because it's immediate and close, and I'm really concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own – those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because I'm so attuned to him."

"You see me sometimes," Bella reminded her.

She shook her head. "Not as clearly."

Bella sighed. "I really wish you could have been right about me. In the beginning, when you first saw things about me, before we even met…"

"What do you mean?"

"You saw me become one of you." Bella barely mouthed the words.

She sighed. "It was a possibility at the time."

"At the time," Bella repeated.

"Actually, Bella…" She hesitated, and then seemed to make a choice. "Honestly, I think it's all gotten beyond ridiculous. I'm debating whether to just change you myself."

Bella stared at her, frozen with shock. Instantly, her mind resisted Alice's words. She couldn't afford that kind of hope if Alice changed her mind.

"Did I scare you?" she wondered. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"I do!" Bella gasped. "Oh, Alice, do it now! I could help you so much – and I wouldn't slow you down. Bite me!"

"Shh," she cautioned. The attendant was looking in their direction again. "Try to be reasonable," she whispered. "We don't have enough time. We have to get into Volterra tomorrow. You'd be writhing in pain for days." She made a face. "And I don't think the other passengers would react well."

Bella bit her lip. "If you don't do it now, you'll change your mind."

"No." She frowned, her expression unhappy. "I don't think I will. He'll be furious, but what will he be able to do about it?"

Bella's heart beat faster. "Nothing at all."

She laughed quietly, and then sighed. "You have too much faith in me, Bella. I'm not sure that I _can_. I'll probably just end up killing you."

"I'll take my chances."

"You are so bizarre, even for a human."

Bella waited, and then reached out to grab Alice's cold, hard hand. "Please?" she whispered, gazing imploringly to Alice's ever darkening eyes. "Bite me?"

"Bella, think about this," whispered Alice, nearly pleading. But her eyes narrowing, and her voice lowering huskily all the same.

Bella stared back defiantly in the dim light. "I have thought about it, and apparently you have too. You said you were debating whether or not too, and I said do it. So what are you waiting for?" she replied confidently, tilting her head slightly so her neck was exposed for Alice.

She watched from the corner of her eye as Alice licked her lips slowly, losing the will to resist. Bella grinned, she knew she was like an aphrodisiac for them, for all of them – male or female.

Bella exhaled sharply as Alice drew closer in the blink of an eye, her lips pressed gently against her throat, feeling the pulse from her carotid artery.

"And Edward?" Alice murmured softly.

Bella sighed. "He can't do anything about it, remember?"

"Mm…" said Alice.

"Come on, Alice," coaxed Bella, wrapping her arm tightly around Alice's lithe body. Feeling the hesitation, she then commanded, "Do it now – bite me – _bite me!_"

"If you say so," hissed Alice before closing her eyes and opening her mouth. Her lips slid back to momentarily reveal a set of gleaming teeth, whiter than polished ivory, before they plunged into Bella's neck.

Bella gasped in mixed tones of surprise and pain.

Alice tightened her grip, pulling Bella closer to herself as the blood began to flow out of the wound and over her tongue. _She tastes exquisite…_ Alice thought dreamily to herself, the blood soothing her aching conscience. _Edward, you sucker, _she thought gleefully, wondering if he could telepathically hear her,_ you don't know what you're missing._

Bella moaned, and inevitably began to draw the attention of the other passengers as the pain only grew more intense and her incoherent pr otests grew louder.

A few seats away, on the left window side of their section, a successful businessman in his forties sat beside his boss and several co-workers. Not that you couldn't tell by their neatly pressed Hugo Boss suits, expensive gold Rolex watches, movie-star haircuts and multiple iGadgets – but they were loaded, every single one of them.

This one in particular was reminiscing about the eighties. They don't make music like that anymore, he thought, leaning blissfully back in his reclining seat.

_Hurt so good.  
Come on baby, make it hurt so good.  
Sometimes love don't feel like it should.  
You make it hurt so good._

_Come on, girl, now, it's you.  
Sink your teeth right through my bones, baby.  
Let's see what we can do.  
Come on and make it._

His boss straightened like he did when multi-million dollars of profit was about to be made, and prodded his more attentive underlings, pointing somewhere above his head and behind them. He gesticulated wildly for he found that with all his business superlatives he could not express what he was seeing.

Bella moaned louder, digging her fingernails into Alice's short, spiky hair, managing an "Oh, Alice!" every now and then. Though how she did so was beyond the businessmen, who were so drawn to the action they completely ignored the poor flight attendant trying to mop up the champagne and jagged shards of broken glass.

"Would you like a drink?" came a pleasant, oh-so-crafted voice along with the painful looking smile plastered on a pretty, but ordinary face.

Indistinct manly voices floated over to Alice's ears, which she ignored, because Bella was just _that_ good.

She pulled away quickly, but reluctantly, when another flight attendant came to a stop beside their seats.

Bella was panting, her head thrown back against the headrest, and her hair spread across her shoulders, tangled in Alice's fingers. She was barely conscious and deathly white save for the trickles of crimson leaking onto her collar.

Alice only had the time to run her tongue over her teeth, attempting hastily to swallow the most tangible, and blatant evidence of her lack of self-control.

Thankfully, the flight attendant said nothing about the awkward position. "Would you like a drink?" she said, her face and voice totally neutral as she stared at Alice's now red tinged eyes.

Alice's lips curled back into a feral grin, and her eyes twinkled mischievously. "I'm okay, thanks," she said happily.

The flight attendant smiled blandly, and then it faltered. "You have…" she touched her own face, the corner of her mouth, to mirror Alice's.

"Cranberry juice," explained Alice with a straight face. "Thanks."

The flight attendant moved on slowly, the well oiled wheels of the trolley making no sound over the padded carpeting on the floor of the plane.

Alice glanced around covertly before plunging her teeth into Bella's neck once more, trying her hardest not to listen to the disturbances going on in the row of seats behind her.

"This is preposterous! I cannot allow my children to be exposed to such wanton sexual activity!"

"Well," began the flight attendant in what was to be assumed as a soothing tone of voice. "It's not nearly as bad as the movie they're playing right now on screen."

"Yes but my children –"

"Are watching it."

"Can't you hear the moaning?"

"Ma'am, that's just from the movie!"

"I –"

"If you don't want to hear it, turn down the volume!"

Alice wondered when she was supposed to stop. _Well,_ she thought to herself, _it can't hurt just to wait a little longer… I didn't drink enough yet, I think…_

Down the narrow isle, a girl of about fourteen stepped out of the ridiculously tiny, fridge-like cubicle that was a sad excuse for a washroom. She bobbed her wildly colored head along with the music blasting into her ears, lip-syncing along with the dulcet tones of the singer as she made her way back to her seat, her teeth occasionally snagging her lip ring as she did so.

It just so happened that she noticed the laces to her converse were undone, so she bent down to retie them, mouthing the words silently into her knee.

_This was never the way I planned.  
Not my intention.  
I got so brave, drink in hand.  
Lost my discretion.  
It's not what, I'm used to.  
Just wanna try you on.  
I'm curious for you.  
Caught my attention._

When she finished, she straightened with a groan. She hated flying. She continued down the isle towards her seat. She then came to a sudden stop, so stunned she could not move, she just stood, rooted to the spot and stared. The music she was following along to now reached her deaf ears.

_  
I kissed a girl and I liked it.  
The taste of her cherry chapstick.  
_

_No, I don't even know your name.  
It doesn't matter.  
You're my experimental game.  
Just human nature. _

She gaped in disbelief and pulled out one of her earphones.

Alice's eyes narrowed dangerously as she decided that the staring had gone on long enough. She lifted her head, her grudging reluctance channeling to fuel her growing rage at the constant disturbances. She did everything she could to not snarl at the girl.

"Wow."

Alice cocked her head.

"Wow, um. Public lesbian sex is _so_ yesterday."

Alice stared.

"And what's that? Fake blood?" the girl moved closer curiously.

"No!" snapped Alice, "Its cranberry juice!"

"Really?"

"NO! And it's not fake blood either!"

"What –"

"Smell it? See it? That's real blood, thank you very much."

"Right…" said the girl slowly.

Alice stared murderously at the girl. Then beckoned her closer – as soon as she knew the girl was close enough to see, she bared her teeth in a feral grin and took some satisfaction as the girl leapt back in terror. Alice smiled patronizingly. "Now shoo before I decide to eat you too."

"So you're a vampire?"

Alice shot her a look that said everything.

_Us girls we are so magical.  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable.  
Hard to resist so touchable.  
Too good to deny it.  
_

"WOW! That's _hot_."

Alice glared until she left, and continued to glare a bit at her retreating back.

She glanced down at the very still Bella in her arms, and made a face.

"Oops."

She sniffed, then extricated herself from the cold body beside her.

"Damn it, Bella! See I told you I'd just end up killing you." Alice wiped away the trail of blood with her finger and then licked it. "I couldn't help myself, see? … and now what am I going to tell Edward?"

It was then the pilot came on over the intercom, announcing, first in French, and then in English, their, or more accurately, now, Alice's imminent landing. The seat belt lights dinged and flashed.

She eyed the cold form of Bella beside her speculatively. "Well, I was going to ask you how opposed you were to grand theft auto, but I guess I can't now."


End file.
